Feeling normal

Sometimes when God reminds me that I can do all things through Him who strengthens me, I remind Him that I cannot and then He gently reminds me that I might not be able to but He can handle it all. I have been managing pretty well and actually have been surprised at the lack of panic I have had since returning home from our trip. I don't know why and honestly every day and actually every moment of every day I wonder when it is going to hit. Anxiety about anxiety seems to be my most prevalent worry at the current time. Will it sneak in almost unnoticeable at first and just increase to panic or will it hit me like a ton of bricks (both ways occur and interestingly I am never really prepared even though I have dealt with this for as long as I can remember)? Will I be able to manage the next time? Honestly, I believe I have just become a master at avoidance. If it feels like it may trigger the anxiety, I avoid it at all cost even if that means detaching. This is not healthy but it is survival sometimes.
So today I am okay but tomorrow I may not be again.
As I talked with a friend who also experiences severe anxiety, we agreed that we would love to awaken one morning and just "feel" normal...wonder what it would feel like to "feel" normal and would I even recognize the feeling? Normal? Interesting concept...one I would like to experience some day.